you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
