It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
ok first of all what the fuck
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
