I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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