if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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