dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
