I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
