Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
