This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
