if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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