In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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