hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
