I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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