That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
