I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If I die, sorry about rent.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
