Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
