so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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