hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
