Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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