He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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