I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
