i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How's work?
Spinning.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
