Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
