I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
