People in love make me want to vomit
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
