I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
