so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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