I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
