In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
