no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i believe in u and ur pee
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
