Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
