Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
