I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
