If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
