Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
