I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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