does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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