god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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