She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
