i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
