they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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