We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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