Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
