im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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