Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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