man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
