ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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