Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize