when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
