His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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