maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize