My brain says no but my pants say off.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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