If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
