Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize