Whod you bang
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
