I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
