Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
