when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize