Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
