I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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