she looked like the bat from fern gully.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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