Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
