Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
