I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i out mim tonsoeep
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