well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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