i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
