Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
