your thong is hanging out like whoa
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
