I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
