Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
