God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
