I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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