I am in a vortex of obligation.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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